Guest Blog: Magic the Cat Discusses Door-Handle Liberation December 16, 2010Posted by rwf1954 in cat anecdotes, cat stories, cats, pets, Uncategorized.
Tags: cat anecdotes, cat stories, cats, pe, pets
I can reach the handle to the window/door. I am a big, strong cat, and I can reach that handle. Even the late old lady cat Marie, the strongest cat I’ve ever known besides me, could not reach the handle. She just stood at the door and asked and asked with her nagging meows. The other old lady cat, Nala, just waits quietly until someone opens it up for her. My gray-fluffy “sister,” Diva, tried to reach it and came up a foot short. A foot short—over a cat length short! I whacked at her. She looked ridiculous. And reaching the window/door handle is my thing.
The humans use that handle thing to open the window/door that lets us get in and out of the house. They have different paws than us, so they can grab it somehow, and pull it to slide it. I am working on that. Someday I will get my paw to slide that thing, and I will not be so dependent on the humans.
This gets so annoying. One day we wanted to go out. It was a beautiful bright day. Richard kept saying “gardeners, gardeners.” I think he means the humans who come in with machines every once in a while. Carrie makes noises that sound like their machines to emphasize the point. They cut plants and grass, shoot air at leaves to make piles they pick up, spray water at plants—I don’t sweat them. If they upset me or get too close to me with their noisy machines, I just hiss at them like I do at the vacuum cleaner.
The old lady cat, Nala, runs away like a little mouse whenever they show up. They obviously scare her. You know, I think the humans actually keep us all in just because Nala is afraid of the gardener-creatures! Stupid. But humans control the handle to the window/door.
I still expect to reach that handle and work it with my paw. But for now, the humans let me in and out. They know I’m close. Richard sees me reach for it. He rubs my belly and encourages me to grab it. Be careful what you wish for, Richard! I’m not putting on a show for you, fool. I’m going to do this and you know it! He does know it. That’s why he lets me out, the minute I ask. I roar at him—he calls it a meow—hop to it, Richard. And he opens that door. I know why. When I figure out how to work that handle, I will go outside whenever I want! Gardeners outside? It won’t matter. Handle-freedom is just a paw-grip away!
That’s why Richard lets me out whenever I ask. He knows if I ever learn to work that door, the power of in-and-out-of-the-house is mine! He pretends to encourage me, smiling, even laughing. Keep patronizing me—go ahead. I will attain handle-freedom. This is my destiny! Then we’ll see who is laughing.
Or, the humans will keep letting me out when I want to appease me. Either way… I am Magic, the Magnificent Beast.
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